Viewpoints are not the whole story

I recently read something that has me thinking about how other people view me. When I think about how I view others, I know that I cannot know what their true view of themselves is but only what I perceive them to be from what I see and what they share. I can only see them from my current point of view. The same is true for me.

This has me thinking about the different characters I play in other's stories.

I am a terrible person in some people's narratives and a Godsend in others. And sometimes their narrative of their truth has changed to fit their evolving circumstance. What was once viewed as a beneficial, productive and loving role can change through a different lens. Once someone sees someone else through a negative lens, it's difficult to see them any other way. Positive or innocuous actions will be assigned a nefarious intent even if that was not the case.

And none of it has anything to do with the person that I truly am.

The lens that others view me through is colored by their bias - their upbringing, beliefs (which evolve over time), and individual experiences. Sometimes their views change from the influence of others around them - sometimes with an agenda, sometimes not.

Some people see my bright personality as endearing and others see it as annoying.

Some people see me speaking my mind as negative and attention seeking, and others see it as advocating and empowering.

Some people think that I am weak and emotional and others feel safe to be themselves around me.

Some people think I'm rude and selfish and others respect the way that I stand up for myself.

Some people admire the way that I take pride in the way that I look and others think I am conceited.

And none of it had to do with who I truly am as a person.

I know that I have no influence over how other people view me. There's no point in trying to be the people pleaser that I was in my younger years to be accepted by anyone. I shrug my shoulders these days because it just doesn't matter. The only thing that truly matters when the dust settles at the end of the day is how I genuinely see myself. I've lived a life to my morals, and I do not intentionally harm others.

So, people that I know that I've done right by and used to go the extra mile to the point of being a doormat to that now view me through a negative lens, it's a "them" problem not a "me" problem. And it's none of my business and I'm not going to worry about it.