Echoes of Estrangement and the Symphony of New Beginnings - Wedding Weekend

I don’t think of estrangement as often as I used to think about it. I suppose that happens with time and healing. I continue to write about it more as a pay it forward to those who are reeling in the suffering that happens in the early years.

Through the wedding festivities this past weekend I am so grateful for not feeling heartbreak or longing for my kids. The reality is that I raised them to be independent adults. And that is what they are – an engineer, an artist, and a biologist – or whatever iteration of their chosen professions they are in now. And they are fiercely independent free thinkers, like me, even though they would not admit their association to my character. I’m headstrong and march to the beat of my own drum. I challenged them to think and form their own opinions – even when they hurt me.

Through the rehearsal and wedding I was absorbed in the beauty of the present. What I grieved for was my bonus son not being able to have his mom there. As I stepped onto the dance floor with him for the mother/son dance I was taken aback by the way the DJ introduced me – as a very special lady in C’s life. And the words that then came from my bonus son – I am so grateful that you came into my life and that you are my stepmom… I love you. The power of his words washed over me. I was overwhelmed but found the words to tell him how much I love and appreciate him. And I gave him the best advice for marriage that I could muster – Life can sometimes be challenging, and you may face conflict with the outside world, always choose M first even if it’s conflict with blood, she is your home now. And I want you to know that I love you and will always have your back.

He is the bonus son who shaved his head with my husband when I went bald during chemo. Can you see the tears on my keyboard?

Seven years into this new life, a life I could not have imagined, but dreamed of. I am surrounded by love and appreciation. My cuppeth runneth over.

On a further note…

Last year, fresh out of chemo and radiation, with my bald head and barely walking, I attended my husband’s adopted son’s wedding. It was on a beautiful mountain top in Northern Georgia. This young man lost his mother before he entered kindergarten and then lost his father while he was in high school. He helped move my husband into my home seven years ago – when we were merging our lives. You couldn’t meet a more resilient, loving guy. To see him complete university, where he met his bride, start his career, and then to attend his wedding was truly a gift. And then to see him and his beautiful wife at my bonus son’s wedding, with her handing me their two-month-old baby, was just glorious.

Finally…

To say that I enjoyed every minute with my almost namesake niece through this past weekend an understatement. She helped me when I was physically struggling. I thanked her for being there. And then she said, I’ll always show up for you, Aunt *****.

That’s where my life is today.

I’m not crying. Who’s crying? There’s no crying in baseball!!

#Reflections #HealingJourney #Estrangement #FamilyLove #WeddingMemories #BonusSon #StepMomLife #CancerSurvivor #Gratitude #NewBeginnings #IndependentKids #Motherhood #LoveAndAppreciation #LifeLessons #FamilyBond #OvercomingChallenges #Resilience #HeartfeltMoments #CherishedMemories #SupportSystem