Ten Gentle Reminders for Parents Living Through Estrangement

Finding Steadiness

After years of living in this estrangement purgatory, I have learned a few things along the way. And with the holidays rapidly approaching, remembering the following things helps.

**borrowed and edited from an anonymous parent group.

Ten Reminders When Living Without Your Estranged Child

1. Their choice is part of your story, not the whole of it.

You are more than this loss, and your life still holds meaning, connection, and purpose.

2. Love can exist even when contact does not.

Caring for your child does not require sacrificing your own well-being.

3. Grief evolves over time.

It may never fully disappear, but it becomes quieter and easier to carry as you heal.

4. Missing them is natural—and it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

You can hold love in your heart without living in constant pain.

5. Distance is sometimes about what they are struggling with, not what you failed to give.

Their silence is often rooted in their own journey.

6. You are allowed to experience joy again.

Moments of happiness don’t diminish your love or your role as a parent. 

Read that two more times! 

7. Healthy boundaries are not punishments.

They are acts of self-respect and care.

8. Peace does not require complete understanding.

You can move forward even without all the answers. Although, finding some answers has helped me on my journey.  

9. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting…it means finding steadiness.

The ache may remain, but it no longer overwhelms your days.

10. Your strength is quieter now, but it is real.

You are still standing, still loving, and still worthy of peace.