Thoughts on Leading by Example

Parents Must Lead by Example...

Or what? What are you going to do? Leave us. Go no contact. Hand us a consequence because we were not perfect.

Let me say this slowly so that it lands. Parents are human and make mistakes. Some make big mistakes and some made small ones. We didn't even know these were mistakes until many years later when the rules changed and suddenly everything we did was trauma.

Here's the part that I need to say. The same generation that is demanding their parents lead by example is the same generation issuing ultimatums. Going silent for years. Weaponizing no contact and calling it growth. So, which is it? Are we leading by example, or are you? Because from where I'm standing, the example being set right now is this, if someone disappoints you, you disappear. If someone hurts your feelings, you punish them with silence. If someone doesn't apologize the exact way you scripted, you cut them off and call it healing. That's not leading by example. That's modeling punishment and calling it growth.

Real leadership looks like staying at the table when it's hard. It looks like repair not erasure. It looks like saying I'm hurt. And here's what I need. Not do this or you'll never see your grandchildren again. You want your parents to lead by example then show us what example you want us to follow because if the example is cut off everyone who fails you. Congratulations. You learned it and one day when your own kids decide you weren't perfect either, you'll find out exactly what you taught them.

Parents make mistakes that doesn't make us monsters, that makes us human. And if being human is now a crime punishable by estrangement, then nobody's safe. Not us. Not you. Not your kids. Nobody.

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